Under My Skin
by KBtheMD
Summary: "Tell me one thing, does the song make sense?"  Castle, Beckett, a charity benefit.  Minor spoilers for middle of Season 3. T now, but will be M later.
1. Chapter 1

**I don't own these characters. Now, for a story...**

_I hate my hair right now._

Kate Beckett looked at herself in her nude strapless bra and matching underwear, full face of makeup in her bathroom mirror and sighed in frustration.

"Ouch!" she winced in pain as the curling iron got a little too close to the delicate skin of her neck. Her hair never did what she wanted it to. She had always envied people lucky enough to have truly straight or naturally curly hair. With straight you could just blow dry and be done. With curly, add some gel and a few hair pins and voila, call it an 'up-do'. But her hair? No way. It was some evil hybrid of hair between the two that mocked her anytime she tried to use something more than a straight iron. The contempt she held for her hair was bubbling over tonight as she readied herself for the New York County Medical Society's Holiday Benefit Gala.

_I can't believe I'm going to a "gala". _

She continued wrapping her hair around the curling iron carefully.

Josh had invited her months ago. He had insisted on buying tickets as soon as they were available, which was just before Halloween. She had warned him that she wouldn't know her work schedule for another 2 weeks at the time, but he had gone ahead and bought the tickets anyway. As it turned out, she had managed to get the night off, not because Kate herself had made the request, but because Richard Castle had.

She remembered that day in mid- November when Castle had shown up at the bullpen, her coffee in hand, with an especially giddy look on his face.

"_What, Castle?" _

_She could see the flicker of mischief in his eyes. Those eyes were always his tell._

"_Good morning to you too, Mary Sunshine," he said sarcastically because Kate was not smiling. "Coffee?" he said holding out her cup._

"_I know you. You're up to something. Either that, or you got laid last night. Indulging in Deep Fried Twinkies again?" she said, accepting the coffee as he settled in his chair next to her desk._

"_Deep-fried Twinkies? No way, Meredith is in California… and lord only knows where Gina was last night… so there was no 'laying' to be had," he replied, surprisingly serious._

_Kate instantly wished she could take back her statement. She knew Castle had been going through a rough time lately. He and Gina had been off-and-on for the last month or so, although lately it seemed more 'off' than 'on'. Normally, she and Castle didn't talk much about their respective relationships. However, with his recent difficulties with Gina, Castle had approached Kate wanting a woman's perspective that didn't include his mother, who had never really liked Gina, or his daughter because well, that was just 'too weird' as he had put it. So they had gone out for drinks a few times after work, and Kate had listened, trying to be as supportive as she could be considering she really didn't think Gina was good enough for him. _

"_Sorry. I just hadn't seen you smiling like that in awhile," Kate said apologetically._

"_No worries. Anyway, the reason I'm in good spirits this morning has to do with you actually," Castle said as he leaned back in his chair and took a sip of his coffee with an amused smile on his face._

"_Me? What have I done?" Kate asked, genuinely surprised with his response._

"_Well, it's not something you have done, more like something you will do, or at least I'm hoping you will," Castle said, leaning towards her now._

"_I don't like where this is going…" Kate said and turned her body to face him directly. "What do you mean 'will do'?"_

"_So, just let me finish before you decide to yell at me, and don't shoot me. Swear?" Castle said extending his hand and sticking out his pinkie finger._

"_Are you seriously making me pinkie swear? How old are you, 10?" Kate said, crossing her arms, exasperated that he was dragging this out._

_He raised his hand a little higher and cocked his head, implying that he was, in fact, serious._

_Kate rolled her eyes as she linked her pinkie with his and they shook. Castle smiled and clasped his hands together with excitement._

"_Okay, so there's this holiday benefit-thing in December, all proceeds go to local hospitals around town. And Gina has a friend who's on the organizing committee and they have a silent auction that she's helping to arrange. So her friend called me last night and asked if I would donate something to go up for auction," Castle rambled, pausing to catch his breath._

"_Yea, so? What does this have to do with me?" Kate questioned cautiously, beginning to fear where he was going with this conversation._

"_Well, seeing as how both Nikki Heat novels are such a success, naturally I thought something related to her would bring top dollar…" he trailed off, moving back slightly from her desk, starting to stand instinctively._

_Kate's eyes widened and her nostrils flared in anger as she stood from her chair, "You didn't! Richard Castle, I'm going to…"_

"_Ah, ah, ah. Pinkie swear, remember?" he said holding up his right hand with his pinkie in a hook as if it were a cross to stave off a vampire. "Plus it's for charity, Beckett!"_

"_Did you honestly think that I would agree to have myself auctioned off, like a piece of meat?" Kate said, walking towards him as he backed away, pushing her index finger into his chest with each word for emphasis, "What right do you have…"_

"_Whoa, whoa! I'm not auctioning just you. It'll be me too! For a ride along, with the two of us. You know, 'a day with the writer and his muse'," Castle raised his arms with his hands together and then spread them apart in the air like he was revealing the title of a movie on a theater marquee._

"_Great! Just great! Did you ever stop to think that maybe having one 'citizen' following me around all day was enough, huh? Besides, the Captain is never going to approve this," Beckett said matter-of-factly. She instantly felt better knowing that this would never make it past Montgomery._

"_Well, the Captain didn't, but the Chief did, so I think Montgomery will be alright with it," Castle said rather smugly. "It's good publicity for the NYPD, after all. Plus, he owes me from a poker game."_

_Kate narrowed her eyes, shook her head with irritation and said, "You always get what you want, don't you, Castle?" _

"_No…not always," Castle said seriously, looking her straight in the eye with a deliberate tone of regret and sadness to his voice._

Kate paused from her hair-styling, remembering how he had looked at her with so much longing in that split second, that she had almost gasped when she realized he was referring to her.

_And then another thought had quickly popped in her mind. Was this the same event that Josh had invited her to?_

"_Wait. Is this the New York Medical Society's annual holiday fundraiser?" Kate asked._

"_Uh, yeah actually. Why?"_

"_Cause I'm already attending it, that's why. With Josh," she added, to be clear._

_She thought she saw a look of annoyance cross Castle's face before he recovered, smiling smoothly and said, "Great! Perfect, actually. Gina's friend said we're both invited anyway. She said it'll be useful if we can be there, you know 'mingle' to spark interest in bidders. She thinks we're going to be one of the top items this year," he said rather proudly._

"_Ha. I'm sure. But to be clear to the bidders, 'we' are not an item," she said moving her hand back and forth in the space between their bodies. _

She had caught the hurt look on his face before turning on her heel and walking to the break room. She had immediately regretted being so harsh on him. After all, she knew his heart was in the right place, but it just infuriated her to no end that he assumed she would just go along with whatever he wanted, without at least discussing it with her first. She had apologized upon returning to her desk, and Castle had done the same for not asking before committing them to the auction.

Castle proved that he learned his lesson when he had asked Kate later that day if he could talk to Montgomery about the ride along and the gala, including asking if she could have the night off. Normally, Kate would have done that herself, but she still felt guilty about snapping at him earlier, so she had agreed.

Castle had left a few days after that and had been out of town for a little over 2 weeks now as part of the _Naked Heat _book signing tour on the West Coast. When Kate had started getting texts from him soon after he left, she had assumed his messages were out of guilt after everyone had given him such a hard time for not communicating over the summer. She had fully expected that the texts would taper off as he got busy on the tour, but to her surprise, the texts hadn't only continued they had increased in frequency.

At first, most of the messages were related to the latest case that Kate was working on. She knew that it was driving Castle crazy that she was solving murders without him. But quickly, the texts became more social. Kate had kept him filled in on the latest Ryan-Esposito antics and also on the budding relationship between Esposito and Lanie. It wasn't official yet, but Kate felt pretty certain it was only a matter of time before her suspicions about the ME and the detective were validated judging by the stolen smiles she witnessed at the crime scenes lately.

One of Castle's favorite things to send her involved snapshots of the uniform cops hired for security at the various signing events. For some reason he found the uniforms quite comical, as only Castle would. He also claimed that they showed more "skin" as he moved south from Seattle to San Diego. He sent the photos as attachments to Kate with a ranking according to "style" and "functionality". He called it his "Cop Catwalk".

Kate's response: _You do realize I'm a cop and you're sending me photos making fun of cops?_

Castle: _No, no- I'm making fun of the *uniforms*. You have to admit they're pretty awful. Wonder who designs them anyway? Maybe the losers of "Project Runway"?_

Kate: _*rolling eyes* You really are SO metrosexual._

He had been in California the last week, so he had been making a few blonde jokes because, according to him, there seemed to be an "unnatural" number of blondes in line at the signings there. Although normally Kate didn't find blonde jokes particularly funny, she secretly thought these were amusing mainly because Gina was a blonde. He had also been letting her know indirectly that he was homesick, complaining about how he was sick of room service and how the hotel must have concrete slabs for mattresses because his back hurt.

While Kate had found that she actually looked forward to Castle's texts to break up the monotony of the work day, the message she anticipated most was purely personal in nature. It had almost become part of her nightly routine. She would settle into bed with a book, like she did almost every night before going to sleep, except now she found herself paying less attention to the book and more to her phone.

Without fail, every night around 11 PM the same message: _Until tomorrow, Detective._

To which, her reply was always: _Night._

Kate realized that this simple message from Castle shouldn't make her heart flip the way it did, considering they were both seeing other people, but she couldn't help herself.

Kate misted her hair lightly with hairspray and glanced down at her phone for the 10th time in the last hour.

_Hmm, still no message._ She assumed that meant he must be traveling today, hopefully heading back to New York.

_I really will kill him if he doesn't show up to this thing and I have to 'mingle' by myself._

She instantly felt a pang of guilt.

_Well, technically Josh will be there, but knowing him, he isn't going to want to talk about Nikki Heat._

Josh made no secret that he was not a huge fan of the Nikki Heat novels. He had nothing against the character herself, more that Castle had based the character on Kate and he didn't like that Rook 'seduced' Nikki into sleeping with him. Kate had laughed at this because, obviously, Josh had not really read the books or he would have known that Nikki Heat was a strong, self-sufficient, albeit sexual being and that she wouldn't have slept with Rook if she didn't want to.

Of course, they both knew he harbored some jealousy towards Castle. After all, Castle got to spend nearly every day with Kate while she and Josh found it hard enough to spend even two days or nights together a week, what with their equally crazy schedules. Kate rationalized that it was their hectic work schedules that had made it difficult for she and Josh to take their relationship to the "next level" emotionally, and for that reason she had kept it fairly casual up this point.

In reality, Kate knew it was her fear of intimacy and probably unresolved feelings for Castle that had caused her relationship with Josh to become a bit stagnant. After all, Josh had made it clear that he wasn't interested in seeing anyone else but her. So tonight, Kate found herself a little nervous about their date. She knew that she would be introduced to a lot of Josh's work colleagues and it all felt a bit overwhelming to her.

Kate stared at the mirror. Some of the frizz had settled down, so her hair now hung in loose curls around her face. _Good enough. _

She stepped into the blood orange colored sequined gown that she had spent half a month's salary on, closing the side zipper, and touched up her lipstick in the mirror.

Her phone chirped that she had a text. She assumed it was Josh telling her he was on his way to pick her up, but was pleasantly surprised to find a message from Castle:

_Finally! Made it back after delay in L.A. FYI: Brunette to blonde ratio in baggage claim- 4:1, redheads to blondes- 2:1! I love this city for its diversity._

_BTW, missed my 2 redheads and brunette. ;) _

Kate found herself laughing aloud and also blushing at the thought that Castle was obviously grouping her in with Alexis and Martha.

_God, I've missed him so much._

She stared at the phone with this realization, frozen.

_What the hell am I doing? I'm supposed to be working on my relationship with Josh, not texting Castle every waking moment. _

_I like Josh_, _right?_

He was intelligent, caring, understanding of her crazy work life, and well, of course very _hot_. She was attracted to him physically, enjoyed her time with him, but she still hadn't been able to open up with him like she did with, well, Castle. When they had been seeing each other for almost 6 weeks, Josh had casually asked about the necklace she wore with her mother's ring. In true Kate form, she had immediately deflected the question, changing the subject and essentially clamming up for the rest of the night.

For some reason, she just couldn't tell him. They had been seeing each other for almost 3 months now, and she had only recently told him that her mother had passed away when she was in college. She still hadn't used the word _murdered _though. Josh hadn't pushed her either. He had sensed that she would tell him when she was ready, but Kate wasn't sure she ever would be. She had always found it difficult to talk to boyfriends or even just friends about her mother's death. She hated the inevitable look of "you poor thing". She didn't want people feeling sorry for her and most of all she didn't want to talk about all the aftermath including her father's alcoholism and her own obsession with finding her mother's killer that nearly destroyed her.

Granted, Castle had essentially forced the issue when it came to her mother's murder. Hell, it had almost ended their partnership. But Kate knew after that rocky start that he finally 'got it' when it came to how her mother's murder permeated her being. While she knew he of course felt sympathy for her, he somehow managed to support her without making her feel weak or needy.

"Because you're tall," he had told her just before she interrogated Coonan. It was all she had needed to hear.

Her phone chirped again.

_Got the bags, but I'll be a little late to the party. Feel free to 'mingle away' without me. _

She started to type a reply, but then deleted it.

_I've got to stop doing this._

She shook her head. Was it wrong that she was more excited to see Castle than her supposed boyfriend whom she hadn't seen in almost a week?

_Yes, yes, yes! So wrong on so many levels. _

Kate looked at her reflection in the mirror.

_I can't do this. _

"You've got to stop this before someone gets hurt," she told her twin in the mirror firmly.

The reflection didn't protest.

**A/N: Okay, so I'm kinda cheating on my other story _Landslide_ right now, because this popped into my head and it was like a fruit fly in my brain that I had to get out. I'll be updating both stories though. **

**I know there's a lot of background in this chapter, but since I was going to include Josh, I feel like I had to give some perspective on him since we haven't really had any on the show (why is he on the show, again?) Also, hope I'm not making Beckett look like too much of a cheater, more just conflicted, you know? Anyway, the gala is next and Castle/Beckett will be "interacting" soon. Any feedback is appreciated!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Wow! I'm so floored by the responses to this story! I've never had such motivation before and it's thanks to you! **

**So, because of that, I've got two chapters coming up-this one and probably one later tonight- final editing in progress. The 4th chapter is also started. Oh, and please, don't hate me for Josh- I promise he'll be out of the picture soon!**

The limo pulled up outside the New York Public Library building and Kate could not help but stare in awe. Of course Kate, being a native New Yorker, had been to this building dozens of times growing up, but she had almost always come during the day. She supposed she had never really paid too much attention to it at night, until now. Seeing the beautiful white holiday lights in every tree within a block of the library and the candles lining the entrance steps that lead to the nearly 40 foot tall arch ways of the main entrance- it somehow felt enchanted.

_Castle always said he wanted to show me this place at night._

She recalled him telling her stories of his youth spent in this building while his mother was off making a name for herself on Broadway. Kate smiled, imagining a school-aged Castle running up these steps, and then she almost broke out into a full laugh as she envisioned the poor librarians that probably had to deal with him. Kate reasoned that the only thing worse than a 30-something Castle behaving like a 9 year old on a sugar rush was the _actual _9 year old Castle on a sugar rush.

"You coming?" Josh asked, extending his hand to her through the open limo door.

"Yeah, sorry. Just taking it in. It's breathtaking," Kate said taking his hand and exiting the limo, but still mesmerized.

"Wait until we get inside. They always do something really special for the holidays," he said smiling at her.

"So you come to this thing every year?" Kate asked, linking her arm through his elbow.

"No, not every year. Only when I've got someone special to bring along," Josh said casting her a sideways grin.

Kate only half-smiled back.

_He always seems so damn perfect. Why does that annoy me just a little bit at this moment? _

They entered the building, dropping off their coats at the coat check, and preceded to the Celeste Bartos Forum. As they entered the room, Kate's jaw immediately dropped.

_Oh. My. God._

The room was magnificent. Kate's eyes were immediately drawn upward to the large glass and cast iron dome that towered some 30 feet above them. It was illuminated in such a way that the glass appeared a dark blue-black. The white marble walls gave the effect of snow with the longest of the walls being lined with 7 ft pine trees, all covered in white lights. The trees were staggered from the wall extending toward the interior of the room to give the illusion that the guests were on the edge of a forest, and by the flashes of sequins and colors Kate saw from behind the pines, she realized that it was designed so that people could actually walk amongst the trees. Finally, strings of small white lights were draped subtly from near the tops of the marble walls, the reflections off the dark glass ceiling creating an image of the night sky, filled with the endless stars of the galaxy. Kate felt like she had stepped into a winter wonderland. It was so simple, yet breathtaking. She closed her eyes and inhaled deeply, smelling the pine trees. _How perfect._

"I take it by your mouth hanging wide open that think it's pretty great, huh?" Josh joked.

" 'Pretty great' doesn't even begin to capture it. It's…"

_Extraordinary._

The word popped into her head without her even thinking, but it never managed to cross her lips. She found that her voice was caught in her throat as she again thought of Castle. She closed her eyes for half a second, feeling a tingling sensation at the back of her throat and nose as her emotions started an assault on her body.

_I wish Castle were here right now. _

Josh had turned to greet some people from his hospital, so he did not notice that Kate had not finished her sentence. She felt her arm being tugged gently as Josh led them over to the bar to join his friends. He looked down at Kate's face and could see that her mind was elsewhere.

"Hey, you're not nervous are you? They're going to love you," he reassured her, pulling her in a little closer.

"Uh hmm," Kate nodded slightly. While she was a little anxious about meeting Josh's friends, it had nothing to do with fear of being liked. She was more afraid that one of them would turn out to be a shrink and would see what a big fat liar she was when it came to her feelings.

"Don, Melissa, this is Detective Kate Beckett. Kate, this is Melissa Daly, she's an anesthesiologist I work with, but I've known her since med school. And this is Don Burton, her husband," Josh beamed as he they all shook hands.

"Nice to meet you all," Kate said with a forced smile, still trying to get her head back in the game.

They chit chatted a bit about their professions. Don was a personal trainer and stay at home dad to their 2 daughters, which Kate thought was great. She liked Melissa too. They compared stories about being female professionals in a "man's world". After getting their second round of drinks, champagne for all, they settled at one of the tables just off the dance floor which was directly under the huge domed ceiling. The band, which was really like a small orchestra, had started playing, and as the music notes reached her, Kate finally felt the tension being lifted from her body. _Josh's friends are nice._

"So Josh mentioned that there was a book written about your work, Kate? That's really amazing," Melissa asked as they took their seats.

Kate shot Josh a look of surprise. She hadn't thought that he would mention the books to anyone at work, seeing as how he had been pretty negative towards her about the whole Nikki Heat "situation". He returned her look with an uncomfortable stare, obviously not liking the direction the conversation had turned either.

"Well, yes. The books are fiction though. One of the characters is a female detective loosely based on me," Kate replied, smiling politely and then taking a long swig of her champagne.

"_Books-_ plural ? You didn't tell me there was a second book out, Josh?" Don questioned.

"Well…" Kate started, but found herself being interrupted by her date.

"C'mon! Don't be so modest, Kate," he said smiling at her. He then turned to Don and Melissa, "She's the main character after all. Yea, Don, there's two books so far with another couple on the way. Right, Kate? That Richard Castle just can't get enough of her," Josh said deliberately looking at Kate from across the table. "Or maybe it's all the book royalties, he can't get enough of," he added jokingly, but Kate could hear the jealousy that laced his voice, and she didn't like it. But what was irritating her more was the implication that Castle was just using her to make money.

_What the hell? Where is this all coming from? _

"Well, at any rate, that's very interesting _and_ impressive, Kate," Melissa said, trying to avoid Josh's snide remark.

Kate, on the other hand, was having a more difficult time moving past what he had said. She felt the annoyance slowly shifting to anger. Sure it had started off as a book deal, but it was more than that now. _He's my partner after all…right?_ She quickly dismissed the flicker of doubt in her mind regarding Castle's intentions, but it only served to fuel her emotions more because now she was a little annoyed at herself too.

Even though she knew Josh was jealous of Castle at times, this level of jealousy was something new. Josh had never said anything that mean spirited to her about the books before. She wasn't going to just let this slide.

"If you'll excuse me," Kate said standing. " I think I need another drink. Josh, will you come with me?" her request of Josh delivered more like a statement.

She really did need another drink, if only to help douse the emotional blaze within her.

Kate strode briskly across the empty dance floor towards the bar and felt her arm being pulled back sharply as she was spun around to face Josh.

"I'm sorry if I upset you, okay? I was out of line," Josh almost whispered, pulling her closer.

_Well, here it is. Our first fight, and of course it would be related to Nikki Heat and Castle._

"Damn straight you were out of line! What the hell? Apparently, you talk to your friends about Nikki Heat, but if I even mention the books, I get groans," Kate hissed trying unsuccessfully to pull herself away. He was strong.

"And where do you get off assuming Castle's motivations? You don't even _know_ him, so just leave him out of this, okay?" Kate said a bit more quietly, trying to take deep breaths.

Josh stared down at her, shaking his head in agreement.

"You know something? You're right. I don't know him. In fact, I don't know any of your 'friends' at the precinct, Kate. You wanna know why? Because you won't let me in! I've been trying and trying, but you just seem so distant. I feel like sometimes I'd be better off if I did read those books of his. At least I'd get to know the Kate on the page, since I can't seem to get to know the Kate right in front of me."

Kate stood in silence. She was shocked. Of course, there was truth to what he said. She knew she hadn't been fair to him and he was calling her on it, which he had every right to do.

He pulled her into him so his arms circled her waist and Kate's arms rested on top of his, almost touching his shoulders. Normally, she would have felt safe in his embrace, but instead she felt suffocated.

"Look, I guess I'm more jealous than I thought. But, all that's really important is that I want to be with you, Kate. But you've gotta let me in! Let me know what's going on in that beautiful head of yours," Josh continued.

She looked up at Josh's face and felt regret for putting him in this position.

_If he knew what was going on in my head, let alone my heart, he wouldn't be so damn apologetic._

Was she really going to break up with this man standing before her, practically begging her to give him a chance, for a shot with Richard Castle? After all, Castle had been dating Gina, and even though their relationship had been rocky, for all Kate knew he might show up with her on his arm tonight. Even though Kate had grown closer to Castle over the last few months and it was clear he cared for her in some way, the seed of insecurity had been planted in Kate's mind when he had left with Gina last summer.

Kate sighed as her thoughts raced. Regardless of Castle's sentiments, Kate knew she had feelings for him. No. More than that. She was _falling _for him. But would she be able to tell Castle how she truly felt? It was one thing to talk with Castle about her mother's murder, her past, but to talk to him about the here and now? To tell him how he never ceased to amaze her with his insight into cases and his never-ending wit… how when his eyes lit up with love at the mention of his daughter, it was one of the sexiest things Kate had ever seen… how she had gone to Starbucks almost every day when he was in the Hamptons, not for a caffeine-fix, but because her body would forever associate the warmth of that first sip of a vanilla latte with him. And most of all, how she had never been certain she wanted a partner until he came along, and how she could no longer imagine her work, or her life, without him. This admission scared her more than anything. It meant she _needed_ someone. It meant she needed _him._

Kate and Josh stood there in silence on the dance floor which was slowly starting to fill. From a distance, it looked as if they were dancing.

At least that was Richard Castle's impression as he entered the room.

**Okay, so I'm expecting some might not like this chapter because of Josh, but next up is Castle's perspective and *spoiler* he's gonna make a (small) move on Beckett and we may just see Beckett make a move soon too... Stay tuned!**


	3. Chapter 3

**As promised...  
**

"Hey, Josh!" a man waved from him across the dance floor, motioning for him to come over.

Josh's eyes shifted briefly.

"Hey, that's my boss. Look, I know I'm putting you on the spot here, but can't we just push the reset button on tonight? Let's just enjoy ourselves. We can talk more later," Josh said hopefully. "I gotta go say hi to him. You get your drink though, and meet me over there?"

"Josh, I can't…" Kate started, but he had already released her and started to walk away.

_Damn it. Now I REALLY need a drink._

Kate made her way to the bar and ordered a Grey Goose martini.

"Straight up, with a twist. But I'll take two olives on the side," Kate told the bartender. She pulled out her phone from her clutch as she waited for her drink. No messages.

Castle watched from the entrance to the grand room. He had seen Kate and Josh intertwined on the dance floor, barely moving to the music, obviously having an intimate discussion. His shoulders slumped a little in disappointment. Of course Castle had known all along that she was coming with Josh, but actually seeing them together, standing with their bodies so close, well, it was harder to watch than he thought it would be. Her relationship with Josh was still a bit of a mystery to him, but gathering from the physical closeness Castle observed before him, he could only assume they were pretty serious. Getting any information from Kate about Josh had been like pulling teeth with tweezers. She had finally opened up about Josh a little when they had gone out for drinks to talk about Gina. Originally Castle hadn't wanted to bother Kate with his relationship issues, but he realized that she was pretty much his best friend that was female, well, really his best friend period.

Surprisingly, Kate had seemed alright with talking about it as far as he could tell. While he had blabbered on about why he didn't think he and Gina would work the second time around, Kate hadn't really offered up as much on Josh other than the fact that he owned a motorcycle, had played basketball in college, and was a heart surgeon that had won various awards for his research. Pretty much Mr. Perfect. Well, with one big exception. He apparently wasn't much of a reader because Castle did recall Kate saying Josh had never read any of Castle's novels, including the Nikki Heat books. Castle had desperately thought this might be a red flag because he knew how much Kate loved to read, especially his books.

Unfortunately, Castle wasn't seeing any flags from his vantage point tonight.

Castle started to walk toward the dance floor, but decided against it. He didn't want to interrupt their "moment", and when he finally talked to Kate he wanted it to be alone. So instead, he turned to the side door that had a sign indicating that it lead to the silent auction room.

_What am I going to say to her?_

'_Hey! So… I missed you like crazy these last few weeks. Probably even more than Alexis because at least I got to hear her voice on the phone every day when she called me.' _

No, that would definitely send her running and probably get a "not-appropriate-cause-we're-seeing-other-people" admonishment. Although technically, that was only half-true now. . .

'_Hey, Beckett. So Gina and I… we're done for good this time. What was I thinking, right? Trying to date my ex-wife? What happened you ask? Well, besides the obvious incompatibility issues that shadowed us from our ex-marriage and into this relationship, I broke it off because, well, I realized she'll never make me happy like you do…'_

He paused.

_I can't believe I'm having mock-conversations in my head. I'm a writer! So why is it so hard to put into words what I'm trying to say? _

_Because I don't want to screw this up. Not with her._

Castle sighed as he entered the silent auction room.

He wandered from table to table, perusing the various items up for bid. There was everything from autographed baseballs from several Yankee players, to spa packages, to vacations with destinations as varied as the wine country in California to a 7 day Alaskan cruise. Pretty typical stuff for a fundraiser, until he came to the second to the last table and saw his own image staring up from the table. It was the picture of him taken from the dust jacket of his books, blown up to the size of a 7x10 photo. Next to that was a picture of Kate that he couldn't quite place. Her hair was shorter, just above the shoulders, cut in layers. She was wearing a dark blue button down shirt, her arms held across her chest. She was smiling, but it was definitely not the carefree Kate Beckett smile that he dearly loved but so rarely saw. He knew all her smiles, and frowns too, for that matter. He studied the photo carefully. No, this smile concealed a bit of annoyance.

_The Cosmo photo shoot! Of course. She was definitely annoyed that day. _

He found himself grinning as he remembered how mad she had been at him when the photographer had arrived with the 2 models scantily clad as police officers. Soon after, she had told him this would be their last case together, but here they were, nearly a year and a half later. They had come so far in their relationship.

_If we can just take it a bit further… somehow I have to tell her how I feel._

Castle glanced at the paper next to the photos that had a brief bio on him and Kate along with an explanation of the ride along. The lower half of the page contained the bids. The page was about half full already, however Castle's ego was not satisfied with the dollar amounts people were putting down. He quickly checked over his shoulders to make sure no one was watching, removed a pen from his inner tuxedo jacket pocket, and jotted down a dollar amount, essentially tripling the last bid. He printed "Richard A. Rogers" in the space for the bidder's name along with his cell phone number.

_Won't hurt to run the price up a bit, seeing how it's for charity and all._

Several people were approaching the table, and Castle didn't want to be recognized especially after what he'd just done, so he slipped out a second door that led back to the main room. The door put him on the same side of the dance floor as the bar, and about 30 feet from where Kate stood at the bar sipping her drink.

He took a deep breath and made his way towards the bar, suddenly feeling nervous.

_Suck it up and just talk to her._

His gait slowed as he neared her. Her back was turned to him, and it was quite the view. Her beaded gown dove steeply down her well-toned back, past her narrow waist, finally ending mere inches from one of her most attractive assets. Her mahogany colored hair was done in loose curls that cascaded past her shoulders. Castle found himself holding back a sudden and very intense urge to wrap his arms around her waist and bury his nose in her locks.

_Has it really only been two weeks since I've seen her?_

Kate still hadn't noticed him approaching, so he decided to play with her a little bit, standing directly behind her. He took in a slow breath.

_For the love. _

The scent of almonds and cherries wafting from her was irresistible and invigorating. It also made him bolder.

He swallowed, put his mouth as close as he dared to the back of her neck, lightly resting the fingers of one hand on the bare skin of her waist and whispered, "So how's my favorite brunette?" 

**Thanks for reading and please let me know what you think. Next chapter is taking shape... and yes, there will be resolution of Josh, don't worry!**


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: So I know a lot of you didn't like the cliffhanger last chapter, but I wasn't sure where I was going with it, I wasn't trying to be mean! Anyway, a few things- all the stuff about the New York library is from Wikipedia, so may not be the most accurate, but I tried. Also, I TRULY TRULY appreciate everyone's reviews, story alerts, favorites, and just ANYONE who is reading. Anyways, enjoy...  
**

When Kate felt the hand on her waist, her upper body immediately tensed, assuming it was Josh. But when she heard Castle's voice, felt his warm breath caressing her neck, she discovered her lower body tensing in ways that forced her eyes shut and made her bite down on her lower lip to stifle a low moan. Her torso unconsciously started to drift back towards him, wanting to feel her bare back against his body, but then she felt Castle's touch move off her waist, his finger tips grazing her lower back, before removing them completely.

Kate opened her eyes and smiled, savoring the feelings that his touch had elicited.

_What the holy hell was that? Yea, I'm officially in trouble._

She turned her body slowly towards the bar, peaked over her shoulder and said with a coy smile, "You better be careful, sneaking up behind people like that, especially cops. You might get yourself shot."

"Beckett, come on. You and I both know that there is nowhere to hide a gun in _that_ dress," he said, his eyes taking in her body again.

"Who said it's hidden in my _dress_?" she said mischievously, pulling up slightly on the side slit of her dress, exposing her lower thigh to reveal a flash of metal, and flesh, that made Castle's eyes practically pop out of his head. "Never know when you might need some protection."

"So, how were the final days of the book tour?" she asked, letting the dress fall and slowly sipping her martini. She found herself studying Castle out of the corner of her eye.

_God, he looks really, really good in a tux. _

He had his hair combed back with a touch of gel and together with the classic black tuxedo, it made him look rather dashing in Kate's eyes.

"You know, same old same old- books, photos, lines of people. . ." His eyes drifted over her face and neck. "So may I just say that you look _devastatingly_ beautiful tonight?" Castle said, catching her gaze for a second before reaching and taking the stem of the martini glass from her hand, his fingers delicately brushing hers. He took a sip of her drink.

Kate found herself holding in a smile as she turned her body to fully face Castle. She shifted her weight, resting one forearm on the bar, and placing her other hand on the opposite hip that now stuck out slightly. She leaned in towards him ever so slowly. She had to give it to the man; he had a way with words.

"_Devastatingly_, huh?" she said with a sultry grin.

Castle almost choked on the martini as he thought he caught a glint of seduction in her green eyes.

_Is she flirting with me? Not like teasing flirting, but flirting flirting?_

Castle's head was spinning. He knew he had missed her, but now, seeing her like _this_. . . let's just say the Y chromosomes in every cell of his body were screaming for release.

"What'll you have, sir?" the bartender said, snapping Kate out of their flirt-a-thon.

"Uh, I'll have what she's having, except no twist, olives, please," Castle ordered without shifting his eyes from Kate's face.

Kate pulled back slightly from Castle, leaning against a stool.

_Okay, whoa. I have got to slow down. I haven't even talked to Josh yet, and what about Gina? __Change of subject._

"Isn't this venue amazing? Did you see all the trees over there?" she said nodding in the opposite direction of the bar.

"Yea, it's great, I guess," Castle said half-heartedly, seeing her shift away from him.

"You 'guess'? Wow, it must take a lot to impress you then," she said with a smirk.

"No, I mean of course the decorations are great, beautiful even. But you should see some of the other parts of this building, like where they keep the _books_," he said raising his eyebrows, suddenly animated. "In fact, this room was actually the central circulation room until about 25 years ago when they renovated it for an event space," his eyes studied the room, lost for a second in a memory. He then turned back to Kate who was listening intently.

"Did you know that the whole New York library system is 3rd in total volumes, only behind the Library of Congress and the British Library? This branch alone has almost 1 million books and just under 100 miles of shelving. Now _that_ is amazing to me," he said lifting his martini glass as if toasting the building, his eyes lit with a sparkle that only Castle could achieve from talking about a library.

"How do you know all of this?" Kate asked, finishing the last of her drink, and scooting her stool closer to him.

"Well, as you know I spent a lot of my childhood here, kind of like a second home really. So I just picked up tidbits through the years and researched some on my own when I was older. I dunno, I just love this place. Think of all the knowledge that's contained in these walls, the _history_. How could you not love it?" he said focusing on his drink as he swirled the olives at the bottom of the glass.

Kate smiled at him. It was a pure smile with no hidden meaning, just happiness to hear him reminisce and to have him back by her side.

Castle looked up from his drink and saw her expression.

_Now that's a Kate Beckett smile I could get used to. _

He felt a dull ache in his chest as he looked into her eyes.

_She is so beautiful. I really want to touch her again._

As if reading his mind, Kate inched her hand that had been resting on the bar towards him, and placed it on top of his. Her thumb slowly traced its way back and forth over the back of his hand. Castle swallowed, his mouth feeling like cotton.

Kate's smile slowly faded from her face and was replaced by a look of longing. They sat in silence for a few seconds, the music of the band humming in the background.

_God, I think I'm in love with him._

"Kate!" It was Josh's voice. He was weaving through the couples on the dance floor, making his way to the bar.

_Shit._

Kate started to stand, but she felt Castle's hand shift from under hers so it now firmly gripped her forearm that rested on the bar.

"Kate, don't go. Please," Castle whispered.

Kate's eyes snapped up to meet his.

_Kate. He called me Kate._

"Castle. . . I've got to. . ." she stammered.

"Hey, guys," Josh said as he finally arrived at the bar. Castle quickly removed his hand from Kate's forearm, but not before Josh saw. Josh shot a glance at Kate whose eyes were focused on the ground.

"Josh. Good to see you again," Castle said with a false smile, but lying as best he could.

"Hi there, Rick. When did you get back? Kate had mentioned you were out of town or something?" Josh said sliding closer to Kate, clasping her hand and giving it a squeeze.

Kate took a breath and stole a glance at Castle. She caught his line of vision focusing for a split second on her hand in Josh's grasp before he looked back at Josh. She felt a wave of anxiety wash over her.

_Shit, shit, shit. How did this get so complicated? _

"Just got back tonight actually. Wouldn't want to have missed _this_," Castle said, deliberately looking at Kate and Josh with a hint of annoyance to his tone. Kate gave him a questioning look.

_Why is he acting like I did something wrong? He knew I came with Josh!_

"Yeah, so remind me again. Why _are_ you here exactly? I don't recall you being part of the medical profession. But then again, you're also not a cop. But I guess that hasn't stopped you from crashing the party over at homicide for the last couple of years either?" Josh said smugly.

"Josh!" Kate said disgusted, taking a step away from him and pulling her hand from his.

Castle's mind sizzled as he seriously considered punching Josh's perfect smile into next Monday, but instead he grinned, shaking his head slowly. The pen, or in this case Castle's word, was mightier.

"Why am I here? I'll tell you why I'm here," Castle said taking a step closer to Josh and looking him directly in the eye. "I'm here to add a little bit of _class_ to this party. Oh yea, and to help raise money for charity too," Castle started to move past him, but then paused, stepping back and added, "And by the way, just so you know, your bedside manner kind of sucks."

_Bam said the lady! _

Castle started to walk between Josh and Kate, unable to hide the grin on his face.

Kate bit her lip to keep from laughing. She grabbed Castle's tuxedo sleeve as he passed her, causing him to pause and she said, "Don't go too far, okay?"

Castle answered her with the slightest of winks, turned and made his way away from the bar, disappearing into the crowd.

**A/N: Castle FTW (for the win)! Did you like Castle's response to Josh? Next chapter is outlined... Kate and Castle will be coming a little "closer"... Again thanks for reviewing!**


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: I know, I know... so long between updates. No excuses, but I was out of town (in NYC!). Got to see the New York Public Library main building- my descriptions do not do it justice by any means! I highly recommed visiting it if you're ever up there.**

**Anyway, this chapter was a doosey to write, lots of loose ends, some of which are still maybe not neatly tied, but hey, but I'm semi-okay with it. A little slow in the beginning, but a good end to the chapter I think. Enjoy!  
**

Kate watched as Castle's figure was quickly lost in the sea of people on the dance floor.

"Kate? Hello?" Josh said moving into her line of sight and casting a look over his shoulder in Castle's direction. "That guy needs to get over himself… just because he's some famous writer. How is he going to talk about "class", after I see him with his hands all over you by the bar?"

Kate frowned.

"Oh, please! His hands were not all over me," Kate said exasperated. "We were just talking."

_Liar. He touched me. Oh, man did he touch me…then I touched him… _

"Whatever, but the way he was looking at you, Kate. You should have seen it- he's attracted to you. How am I supposed to react?" Josh took a step closer to her.

She knew he had a point. Even though his behavior tonight rated high on the jerk scale, his accusations were not far off base. Kate knew that the truth was, if Josh hadn't walked up, it would have been hard for her to keep her hands off Castle. She couldn't keep this up anymore.

"Look, I'm sorry. I tried to tell you earlier. I mean, I've never seen you like this before tonight, this-jealousy. Don't get me wrong, I still don't like it, but I can't say that I blame you for being jealous," Kate said, softening her tone.

"What do you mean?" Josh said looking at her confused.

"I mean you have a right to be jealous because, well, I…" Kate's voice faltered as she looked down at her clutch in her hands.

_If I can't say this to Josh, how will I say it to him?_

"Because, I _saw _the way he was looking at me and I _liked _it." She paused, finally looking him in the eye. "I'm sorry. I know this is terrible timing, and I didn't mean to tell you like this here tonight, but I can't lie to you or myself anymore… I care about him and I have to see if there's a chance for something more."

"Wow," Josh's head dropped in disappointment. "Um, I mean, I figured that _he_ had something for you ever since that first day I met him in the precinct, but I didn't realize you felt the same way… So, I guess I never really had a chance, huh?" Josh asked, defeated.

The truth was Kate knew Josh probably hadn't stood a chance in the long run. He had been what she needed at the time- something to keep her mind off Castle. Even though she had truly tried to move past her feelings for Castle in her head, her heart had remained firmly anchored to the possibility of something more. If anything, her heart had managed to move closer to the truth about how she felt about her partner over the last few weeks.

_Castle was right. The heart wants what the heart wants._

"That's not true, it's just… well the heart is not always predictable, and he makes me…" Kate shook her head, her eyes searching the simulated stars that dotted the ceiling, searching for words, but not finding them. "I'm sorry that I hurt you," she said quietly, her eyes returning to Josh, taking his hand in hers and giving it a small squeeze.

"Yeah. I'm sorry too. I just hope he can give you what you want. Take care of yourself, Kate," Josh said as he freed his hand and walked away.

Kate sighed, mostly with relief, but there was a bit of sadness too. Even though Josh had revealed his true colors tonight, he had been fun, but most importantly he had been safe emotionally.

_Why am I always the one breaking up with guys?_ _Will, Tom, now Josh… am I that damaged?_

_Maybe I am. Or… maybe they're just not my "one-and-done"._

She scanned the room looking for Castle, but saw no sign of him.

_I hope he didn't leave._

_._._._._._._._._._._._

Castle sat at a table alone on the far corner of the room, sipping a beer. He repeated the night's events in his head over and over again. He didn't want to read into it too much, but he knew that there was something different about Kate tonight. How she had looked at him, how she had touched him, how she had let _him_ touch her. They had been dancing near some line tonight, each putting one foot over, but neither quite crossing it completely. Castle knew that he was ready to cross it. No, he was ready to _catapult_ himself over it, but he also wanted to make sure he wasn't going to land on the other side alone. He knew Kate, knew that she wouldn't be one to jump blindly into things.

He smiled a little to himself, remembering his interaction with Josh. He wondered what Kate had thought of him after his verbal spanking of her boyfriend. He thought he caught a flicker of a smile in her eyes, but he couldn't be sure, he had been too high on adrenaline and determined to get out of Josh's proximity to fully read her reaction.

_I really can't stand that guy._

The music of the band had changed from traditional holiday tunes to slower dance music as people had filled the dance floor. Castle watched the happy couples, feeling nostalgic. He remembered when he had danced with Kate at another benefit right after they started working together. She had been breathtaking that night too. Despite being on the job at the time, he recalled how effortless it felt when they were dancing and how right she felt in his arms. He had hoped that he would have the opportunity to dance with her again tonight.

_But where is she? _

He thought about her words to him: '_Don't go too far, okay?'_ Surely she wouldn't have said that if she was going to stay by Josh's side, would she?

_Why else would she ask me to stay around?_

Then again, even if Kate decided to give Josh the boot, Castle knew that didn't mean she was going to fall right into his arms either. He pulled his cell phone out, intending to send her a text, but saw that he had no signal.

_Great. Gotta love technology._

__._._._._._._._._._._.__

Kate wandered around the ballroom until she finally saw him sitting alone at a corner table in the shadows. He had a blank look to his face, maybe even a frown, but she couldn't be sure. She knew he was probably still mad about what Josh had said to him. Kate paused a moment, gathering her thoughts. She knew that they had to talk, but of course it terrified her to think about opening up to him in that way. Sure, she could do the flirting with him, and the texting, well, that was relatively safe too, because she had plenty of time to pause and think before she gave a response. But, sitting face-to-face with him and finally saying what her heart wanted, this filled her with excitement and fear all at once. Excitement for the possibility that a relationship with Richard Castle might actually work, and fear that she was falling so hard for him that if it didn't work out, she might not recover. Kate's mind was racing as the fear began to outweigh the excitement.

_Maybe I'm moving too fast with all of this. Can we both really just hop out of relationships with two other people and seriously work at a new relationship with each other? _

Her heart raced faster as another thought materialized in her head.

_What about Gina? _

He hadn't mentioned Gina in their texts over the last few weeks, so Kate assumed things were still less than ideal between them. But she also knew that Castle had been making a concerted effort to make the relationship work, blaming himself in large part for shutting Gina out during their marriage.

_Could he still be with her though? _

Kate took a deep breath. If she waited any longer, she would lose what little nerve she had and retreat.

_Okay. Keep it simple. One- find out about Gina before this goes any further. And two- tell him I'm not with Josh. Here goes nothing._

"Or everything," Kate said under her breath.

"Hey, there you are. I thought for a minute there you might have left the party and headed for the stacks for some late night reading," Kate said, as she approached the table, pulling a chair around to sit in front of him.

Castle turned at the sound of her voice and smiled. She sat, the slit of her dress exposing one of her long legs as she crossed them. Her calf rested against his lower leg.

_Why does her dress have such a long slit? She is killing me, KILLING me, right now. _

Castle resisted the urge to stare at her leg and decided to distract himself with conversation.

"Nope, no reading. Unfortunately, most of the library closes at 8 during the week, or at least it used to. Although, one time when I was eleven, I did manage to hide from the librarian closing up the reading room and actually spent the night in there. My mother grounded me from the library for a month after that incident," Castle said taking another sip of his drink and watching Kate as she began to smile and then laugh.

Castle felt himself smiling involuntarily at the sound of her laughter. He loved seeing her happy like this. It happened far too infrequently in his opinion.

"Geez, Castle. You must be the only kid in history whose punishment was being grounded from the _library_!" Kate said teasingly, her eyes still laughing.

"Yea, well. Let's just say if they had a 'Most Wanted' of the New York City public library, my pre-adolescent mug shot would've been posted in every post office, or in this case, library filing room in the city," he continued.

"Well, I'm glad you were able to "sneak in" and make it here tonight," Kate said more seriously, nudging him slightly with her leg that rested against his.

Castle took another chug of his beer as he watched her leg rubbing against his.

"Me too," Castle said, "Although I guess Josh isn't so happy I made it…"

"Castle, about that…" Kate started to say.

"Wait let me say something first. Look, I'm sorry if I overstepped back there, but he just... I mean, I don't know. Something about him has always rubbed me the wrong way. I'm not going to lie. Ever since that first day I met him in the precinct, I haven't liked the guy," he said, his eyes alternating between Kate and the bottle of beer in his hands.

"Funny, he said pretty much the same thing about you just now," Kate said jokingly, but it was lost on Castle, who continued with rushed words.

"It's just… you're too good for him, Kate. Maybe he makes you happy, maybe I have no right to judge other people's happiness, especially when it comes to relationships…" Castle continued, placing a hand on her bare knee. His hand was cold from holding the beer, but it sent surprising waves of warmth straight up her leg to her core.

"Castle…" Kate tried to interrupt but he continued.

"… I mean I'm pretty much a "fail" in that category…"

"_Castle…_" Kate said more forcefully.

"… Look at me and Gina. I mean, we were happy at one time I guess. But after meeting you, I know that wasn't happiness. I know now that Gina can't make me happy like _you_ make me happy," he said squeezing her leg gently for emphasis. "And same goes for Josh. He can't make you happy…"

_Like I make him happy? _

Castle continued to ramble, but Kate wasn't really hearing his words anymore. Instead, she was completely absorbed with the way his lips moved as he spoke. Although still unsure of where this would lead, her body was having a harder and harder time containing all the emotions and physical longing that she felt for him that had only intensified during his absence over the last few weeks. Kate shifted her legs, so they were parallel and just touching his, moved herself forward in the chair as she slowly leaned her face next to his in one fluid movement. She waited for half a heartbeat, and brought her lips to meet his cheek.

Castle hardly realized what was happening until he felt her soft lips touch the skin of his face. His eyes closed in appreciation and he felt his voice being sucked back into his chest with her contact. Kate pulled her head back slightly, so her nose was practically touching his, pausing for a brief second before closing her eyes and dusting his lips with a feather-light kiss that sent surprising trembles through both of their bodies. Her mouth lingered over his lips and he felt her mouth meet his for a second time, although now with slightly more intention and purpose, yet somehow still delicate in delivery.

Kate opened her eyes and moved her head back, searching his face for a verdict. He sat motionless, with his eyes closed for several seconds. Kate held back a smile at the effect her whisper of a kiss had on him.

_Wonder what will happen when I give him a real kiss._

He finally opened his eyes and slowly looked up at her, an expression of bewilderment on his face. Castle had always thought _he _would be the one to make the first move if and when the chance had come to kiss her. He had dreamed about how kissing Kate might play out a thousand times in his head, imagining almost every type of scenario: heated kisses after a fight (those were his favorite), passionate kisses during foreplay, hungry kisses after a long separation, comforting kisses after a difficult day, even _underwater_ kisses on a fantasy beach vacation. But his writer's mind had _never _fathomed Kate Beckett-makes-the-first-move-kisses. His fantasies also had done no justice to how _good _her kiss would feel in reality.

"I…um… yeah…" Castle couldn't seem to find his words. It was as if she had stolen away any coherent thoughts with her kiss. He couldn't even begin to think what might happen to him if they shared more intimate contact.

Kate sat back, arching her eyebrow, very amused by his befuddled appearance. She basked a little in this new control she suddenly felt she had over him. Finally, she decided to take pity on him and break the silence.

"So when you, uh, _recover_, I'll be over by the hors d'oeuvres table if you care to join me_,_" Kate said standing, casting him a wink.

After several more seconds passed, blood flow began to return to Castle's brain as he watched her saunter away, his eyes fixed to her hips as they swayed back and forth.

_Wait… did she just…? And then walk away like nothing happened? _

_That little tease! _

He took a long swig from his beer, placing it down forcefully on the table, and then stood, walking with determination to catch up with her.

_Oh, Kate. It is so on._

**A/N: I forgot to say earlier, a HUGE thanks to everyone reading/reviewing/story alerting, etc.! Y'all are AWESOME! Hope you like this chapter. I decided to keep this first kiss sweet (remember they're at a party in a library, people), but it'll get hotter soon I think... stay tuned! Review if you're so inclined. -KB**


	6. Chapter 6

Kate walked across the dance floor towards the spread of food located next to the bar. The band was on break, so only one inebriated couple lazily swayed to the private tune in their heads.

Kate had to admit she felt a bit lightheaded. She wanted to believe it was from her lack of dinner plus 3 strong drinks in just under 2 hours, but she knew kissing Castle was messing with her equilibrium as well. She picked up a plate and began loading it with fruit.

_I can't believe I just did that._

She smiled, popping a grape in her mouth. Her smile grew and she scrunched her nose a little.

_I can't believe I just did that!_

She replayed Castle's expression after she kissed him and shook her head. That man! She had not expected a reaction like that. Truth was she hadn't known exactly how he would respond because she hadn't had time to think about it. Nevertheless, rendering him speechless, now that was an accomplishment.

_Richard freaking Castle- speechless._

While she definitely had enjoyed their brief kiss, Kate realized she had failed at her plan of "talking" to him about Gina and Josh. But, she reasoned that her bestowing him with a kiss was a pretty clear signal that things with Josh were off, and Castle's words to her indicated the same regarding Gina in her mind.

As excited as Kate felt by her boldness with Castle, she couldn't completely block out the lingering uncertainty of what this night was going to mean over the long term. She knew things were moving more quickly than she thought was possible at the beginning of the night. But she just couldn't seem to hold back anymore. He had burrowed his way into her heart and she wanted him in every sense of the word: emotionally, mentally, and, physically. _Especially_ physically tonight. She knew Castle shared her physical attraction. He had made almost no attempt to keep this a secret from the first day they met. She also knew that he indeed cared about her, but up to this point it had been mostly as a deep friendship. Anything more had only been conveyed in looks, glances, with no words shared about any truly romantic feelings.

As Kate made her way down the line of food, she caught Castle out of the corner of her eye talking to a man in a white tuxedo next to the stage where the band members were starting to return. Kate made eye contact with him, and he gave a nod of his head in her direction before turning back to the man and shaking his hand. Kate turned back to the food, placing some crackers on her plate.

_What is he up to?_

Her thoughts were interrupted seconds later by the sensation of fingers trailing down her arm from her shoulder to her hand which held the plate, nearly causing her to drop it. At the same time, she felt a hand grip her waist tugging her backwards slightly so she just touching a very warm body standing behind her. Castle could feel her breaths deepen almost immediately and he pulled Kate's torso still closer. Kate felt the shirt buttons pressing into her back, and felt his breath against her neck, just below her ear.

"You, my dear detective, are in way over your head after that little stunt you just pulled," he said playfully.

His lips brushed her ear ever so slightly as he spoke, causing her to pull in small gasp. Kate was further surprised when his hand stole the plate from her and she was released.

"Hey, that's not playing fair! Get your own plate, Castle. That's mine," Kate said in mock anger, turning to face him.

"Nuh-uh," Castle said holding her plate and taking a step back. "Not until we talk about what you just did over there."

"Can I please have my plate back and get something to eat?" Kate said, snatching the plate back and turning her attention to the cheese trays.

"So we're not going to talk about it then?"

Kate didn't really want to talk about "it" at the moment, even though she knew they should. She just couldn't find the right words. Well, that wasn't totally true. There was _one_ word had been bobbing around in her brain all night.

_Love._

But she wasn't going to say that to him, not yet anyway.

"Sure, we can talk. What do you want to say?" she said, biting into a white chocolate covered strawberry as she reached the desserts.

"Don't play coy with me, Katherine Beckett…" Castle said trailing behind her.

She turned to face him, another chocolate covered strawberry in hand.

"I'm not playing coy, I'm just _famished_," she said biting into the strawberry and taking a step towards him.

Castle watched her mouth as she bit into the strawberry and saw her tongue flick to the corner of her mouth to recover a renegade piece of chocolate. He wasn't sure if she had intended for it to be a seductive gesture, but it had that effect on Castle nevertheless, causing a sudden tightness in his groin.

_How does she do that? I've _got_ to get some control over this situation or I'm going to lose it._

"Look, Castle…" she said lowering her voice and grabbing his hand, leading him off to the side near a small table that bordered the dance floor. "You're right. I agree we do need to talk. Yes, I kissed you, and I think we both liked it… a lot, but…"

"Uh-uh, no 'buts'. Come on, Kate. We've barely _touched_ in the last 2 years, unless you count your freakishly strong ear and nose holds when I do something to piss you off…" he said, reaching for his ear instinctively.

"Castle, need I remind you, I work in the homicide division of the NYPD, not some $20 an hour massage parlor in Chinatown. I don't believe "touching" is a part of my job description," Kate said sarcastically as she set the plate down on the table.

He stepped closer to her. "Well, maybe it's not in _your_ job description," he said placing one hand on the side of her neck, his thumb tracing her jaw line gently as the other arm snaked around her waist and wrenched her body flush to his, "but you know how much I _love_ -touching -things…" his head inching closer to hers with each word.

A soft "oh" escaped Kate's mouth at Castle's sudden movement and with the feeling of their bodies pressed so closely together. She suddenly found her lightheadedness returning as he leaned in and whispered firmly into her ear, "And you might as well know right now, I'm going to be touching _you_ a lotmore tonight, Kate," his lips mouth swiftly stealing a taste of her neck as he brought his head back to face her.

Kate immediately felt like her insides were on fire and she found her hips pressing into him slightly before she remembered they were standing in the middle of a ballroom full of people.

"Castle…" she started, trying to pull back, but he had felt her hips rock into him and he now used his hand planted firmly on her lower back to keep her there, "…please, not here…"

Castle looked down at Kate and as much as he wanted to throw her over the nearest table and have his way with her, he too realized they were in a public setting, and didn't want to do anything to embarrass her. In fact, they were already earning a few glances from an elderly woman that was standing by the food table as she shoved cheese cubes in her mouth like popcorn, observing their embrace.

"Okay. As usual, you're right," he said loosening his grip slightly. "I think our little display is more action than that lady has seen in a few decades," he said to Kate with a soft laugh as they both glanced over at her.

Kate smiled sheepishly at the woman, quickly looking away, and reluctantly detaching herself from Castle's body. Castle, on the other hand, winked at the old woman jokingly which got her to jerk her gaze away and back to the food. Castle looked back to Kate and grabbed her hand.

"Fine then. Dance with me?" he said as he started to walk backwards, leading her to the dance floor.

"Castle…" she said in a low voice.

"Dance with me," he repeated, this time as a statement, but still with a pleading tone.

"The band isn't even playing," Kate said reluctantly, but still allowing herself to be led out to the dance floor as she glanced at the band members who had returned, but sat idly with their instruments.

"Oh, don't you worry. I've got that covered," he said confidently.

"What do you mean by that exactly?" Kate said, raising her eyebrow, as they reached the edge of the dance floor.

"Let's just say that I know a guy in the band. Old friend of mine," Castle replied.

"Is it the guy in the white tux I saw you talking to earlier?"

"Maybe…" Castle said winking at her.

_Why doesn't that surprise me? He seems to have 'a guy' everywhere._

"So how do you know…?" Kate started to ask, but her voice was silenced by Castle placing his fingers to her lips.

"Shh. No talking, just dancing… for now," Castle said in his most authoritative voice.

Kate started to open her mouth to protest again, but she stopped as Castle glanced over to the man in the white tux, giving a slight nod and within a few seconds the band began playing the instrumental to a Cole Porter melody that was very familiar to her. She had grown up listening to Sinatra on car rides to visit her grandparents in upstate New York, and the Ol' Blue Eyes version of this song was one of her parents' favorites.

Castle extended his other hand to her, "Eh-hem. Miss Beckett…"

Kate gave him her hand shaking her head with a smile curling up one side of her mouth. He pulled her towards him gently, placing one hand in the middle of her back and using his other to hold her arm extended slightly in a ballroom dancer's pose. Kate's free hand rested on his shoulder. Castle pulled her near him, but not so close as to draw attention.

Castle gave her a look that said, "See, I can be good" as he took the lead, pulling them out further onto the dance floor. Other couples began to join and fill the space around them, but Kate and Castle hardly noticed.

He pulled her a little closer as the man in the white tux began singing. Kate had forgotten what a good dancer he was and she felt herself relaxing into his arms as the trumpet played in the background. Castle moved his hand that held hers closer towards their bodies, tucking her arm between them and resting his hand over hers as it rested on his chest.

He bent his head down, softly repeating some of the lyrics that floated across the air into her ear.

"…I've got you, deep in the heart of me. So deep in my heart, that you're really a part of me…"

Kate felt herself grinning and shaking her head slightly in disbelief. If someone had told her at the beginning of the night that she would end up in Richard Castle's arms, _dancing_, and having him whisper the lyrics to a love song in her ear, she would have laughed out loud at the absurdity. But here she was, and there was no laughing to be had at the way Kate felt at that moment. Instead, Kate felt herself getting swept up in the romance of it all and the realization that, indeed, she was in love with him.

"_You_ tried so, not to give in…" Castle said purposefully, staring directly into her eyes and squeezing her hand a bit.

Kate slid her hand from under his grasp, upwards to his shoulder and around his neck while her other hand did the same. She draped her hands near his collar, teasing the exposed skin just above it. Castle's hands slid under her arms to rest on either side of her waist.

"Why should I try to resist when, baby, I know so well, I've got you…" the white tux sang.

The tempo of the song quickened and Kate leaned in closer, her cheek finding his cheek.

"In spite of a warning voice that comes in the night…"

Castle felt her face resting against his and sighed. _Her _scent was all around him and his arms brought her closer to him, so that he could feel her heart pounding against his chest. He felt that if he died right then, he would be a very lucky man.

He bent his neck down slightly, tickling her neck with his breath as he spoke the lyrics into her hair.

"Don't you know little fool, you never can win…"

Then, he dared dropping a kiss on her neck that caused her to squirm a bit in his arms and also hold him tighter. Now that they were basically rocking back and forth rather than dancing, Kate felt the friction between them and the solid build of the man in her arms, and her mind couldn't help but think how good he might feel pressed on top of her. She blushed a little at her own fantasy, biting her lip in anticipation of what might happen later tonight.

Castle lifted a hand up placing his fingers under Kate's chin, forcing her to make eye contact, and continued to recite the lyrics, "… cause I've got you, cause I like you, cause I _love _you…"

"…under my skin…" the singer's voice finished, trailing off as Castle's hand caressed Kate's back causing a little convulsion through her body.

They stood there, entranced, as the other dancers briefly applauded and the band started into another song.

Castle moved back slightly from her and smiled.

"So tell me, Kate… did the song make sense?" he said raising an eyebrow with a sly grin.

Kate matched his smile, chewing her lower lip as she pulled him to her using her arms still wrapped around his neck.

"Yes," she said losing herself for a second as the lights danced in his eyes.

"Now get me out of here, Castle."

**A/N: A little longer than I wanted between updates, thanks for your neverending patience! It's because I've been working on "Landslide"- it felt neglected. **

**Anyway, I hoped you liked this chapter. I hadn't intended on this becoming so sappy (?), but I happened to hear this song randomly the other day (I mean I've heard it before, I HEART Sinatra) and it really is Caskett to a tee. Oh, yeah, and it happened to match the title. :) I didn't include all the lyrics, but you should listen to it sometime ("I've Got You Under My Skin" by Cole Porter, the Sinatra version). I found listening to it while I wrote made it hotter- hehe. **

**Sorry for the cliffhanger (again!). More soon! -KB**


	7. Chapter 7

"Now get me out of here, Castle."

His heart was still palpating at an unnatural rate from feeling her body so close to his. Looking down at her face, his eyes centered on her lips. He felt the impulsive need to kiss her, knowing his kiss would not be so delicate as hers had been. He also unfortunately felt very aware of the people around them. He took her arms from around his neck, gripped one hand, and led her towards the rows of twinkling trees that made up the transplanted forest of the ballroom.

"Castle, where are you going…" Kate asked, confused by the direction they were walking which was opposite the room's exit.

They reached the cover of the trees and Castle wove their path quickly towards the back edge near the marble wall. He turned to face her; his eyes first taking in her dress, then the shape of her body in the dress, and finally imagining her body without the dress, which caused him to feel an ache in his throat and pelvis that only she could soothe. He walked her backwards until she was pressed against the marble wall. Kate shuddered at the cool stone on her skin and then gasped at the contrast of Castle's warm hand as it reached between her lower back and the wall, securing her to him.

"Castle, I thought we were leaving…" Kate said, seeing the lust churning just below the surface of his eyes, fully aware of where he was going with this. His eyes flickered with anticipation as he glanced over his shoulder to make sure they were alone.

"Soon. But the dancing…that dress… _you_… I just can't wait another second to do _this_," he said, lowering his mouth to hers with surprising control, feeling her, savoring her with his lips. He felt her responding to his touch, her lips returning the passion, her body relaxing in his hold. One of her arms found its way under his tux jacket, running her fingers under the border of his cumber bun, along the waist of his pants. He pulled away briefly, knowing that he could not continue what he wanted to do to her in public, trees or not.

He paused to suggest they make their exit. However, at the sight of her deepened breathing made very apparent by the rise and fall of the tops of her breasts peeking out of her dress along with her slightly opened mouth, he again could not resist the lure to kiss her. Gladly, he found no quarrel on her part.

"You…"

He managed to mumble as he kissed her, teasing her with a flick of his tongue on hers as he framed her face with his hands.

"taste…"

He continued, cutting himself off as he slid his hands down to her bare shoulders and moved to layer one side of her neck with overlapping kisses, causing Kate to arch into him.

"…so _fantastically_ good."

He finished, returning to her mouth for a slow, deep kiss that pulled a soft moan from Kate's throat and plucked pleasantly at her core. Castle ended their kiss gently, calming her lips with tender kisses as he fully realized how long he had waited for her and how grateful that this time had finally come where they could be honest about how their feelings.

He rested his forehead against hers, speaking slowly and in a low voice, "Kate… I want you to know that as much as I like, no _love_, kissing you, if we're going to continue, you have to know…" he sighed, as he felt her grab his hands, "…this, tonight, well, it isn't just about the _unbelievable_ physical attraction I feel for you…"

"I know that," Kate said, cutting him off as the emotion in his voice started to spill into her consciousness. She felt the same way, but of course found it more difficult to talk about.

"Castle, I think we're both aware this isn't a, uh, onetime thing. And I know there's a lot to think about, so if you, um, don't want me to come home with you tonight…" Kate said trying unsuccessfully to hide the disappointment.

"Wait! No. _No_. Don't get me wrong, I'm taking you home with me tonight…" he said squeezing her hands firmly. "But, seriously, if all I do is hold you for the rest of the night, Kate, I'll be happy…" Castle said pulling away and looking at her straight in the eye.

Kate saw his truthfulness, and she smiled, truly touched by his confession. She knew he respected her and was glad to see he didn't assume that just because she had made out with him in the middle of Manhattan's largest library that he was getting lucky tonight. But, she also realized that the last 2 years of their working together had more than satisfied the requisite "no sleeping with him until at least the 5th date" rule that she had _mostly_ kept herself to since college. Not to mention that his chivalry had a surprising effect on her-she wanted him now more than ever.

"Thanks. Really. That means a lot." She leaned in lowering her gaze seductively, "But, while _you_ may be satisfied with cuddling tonight, _I'm_ going to need a little more than that before I'm ready for bed, or at least before I'm ready to _sleep_ in the bed. Sooo…like I said before our little romp here in the woods, let's get out of here."

Castle raised his eyebrows a little in surprise, a blank expression on his face, which slowly turned into the slightest of smiles. As Kate turned away from him, he looked upwards, brought his hands together in prayer and lipped "thank you" at the twinkling stars on the ceiling above.

He approached her side, extending his elbow as she encircled her arm in his, and they made their way to the exit, stopping to pick up her coat on the way.

"I texted the limo driver, so he should be here in a few minutes. Do you want to stay in here or wait outside?" he asked helping her into her coat in the small crowd of people waiting in line for their belongings.

"Outside. I need some fresh air. A limo, huh? So I guess this means you won't be showing me your driving skills tonight?" Kate said teasingly.

"Oh, all in good time," Castle said as they made their way through the exit and into the brisk night air.

"Damn, it's a lot colder than earlier. No wonder everyone's inside," Kate commented snuggling into Castle's body.

"You want to head back in?"

"No, I'm okay. It's kind of invigorating," Kate said pulling her jacket closer. Truth was, she was feeling a bit hot and definitely bothered by all of their repeated physical contact.

The wind had picked up, and they stopped at the top of the steps near one of two large marble lions that stood watch over the entrance to the library. Castle maneuvered Kate between the statue and his body to protect her from the wind, his hands circling her waist.

"You know the first time my mother brought me here I was three, and these lions scared the crap out of me. My mother tells a story about how I almost wouldn't go in," he said studying the lion that loomed over them.

"Why doesn't that surprise me? Wait, three? You could read when you were _three_?" Kate asked skeptically and shivered a bit causing Castle to instinctively pull her closer.

_God, he is so freaking warm_ _and he's not even wearing a coat._

"No, no. I just came for story hour. I couldn't read on my own until I was three and a half," he said quite seriously.

"_Three and a half_? Come on, Castle. No one reads that early. You'd barely be in preschool," Kate said raising an eyebrow signaling her doubt.

"Well, technically, I was three and three-quarters. Guess I've always been a little ahead of the curve," Castle said with a shrug of his shoulders, but a smug smile.

Kate rolled her eyes.

"What about you? Did you come here when you were little?"

"Well, I got my passion for reading from my parents and we had a huge book collection at home that I usually stuck to. But when I was younger, yea, we would come here a fair amount for children's books."

Castle grinned, envisioning a school-aged Kate Beckett.

"Knowing you, I'll bet you _never_ had any overdue books and the librarians probably _loved_ you. I can just see little Katherine Beckett with her auburn ponytail shushing some poor kid who dared to open his mouth and talk too loudly in the library," he said jokingly, giving her waist a squeeze.

"If you don't watch it, Castle, I'm gonna 'shush' _your_ mouth," she said shooting him a look of contrived annoyance as she leaned in closer, a glint of mischief surfacing in her eyes.

"Oh, please do _shush_ me, Detective. But, from what I've witnessed here earlier tonight…" he moved towards her and spoke slowly, his warm breath caressing her neck, "You seem to _like_ what I do with my mouth…"

He then kissed her swiftly just below her ear, nipping at her skin rather forcefully with his teeth. Kate jerked a bit with surprise and her eyes widened at the sensation, however her head quickly fell forward in pleasure as he soothed the skin with another kiss. He hummed softly against her skin as his hands opened her coat and familiarized themselves with the curves of her body.

Kate's mind was a blur and it had begun playing tricks on the rest of her. She swore she could feel the sensation elicited by his lips on her neck down onto her chest, stomach and most powerfully between her legs and she could no longer deny her body's need to rock against him.

He stopped kissing her abruptly as he felt himself starting to swell even with just this muted friction between them. Normally Castle was more in control in these situations, but Kate was having an astonishing effect on him tonight. He knew he had to stop this or he wouldn't make it past the limo ride home. He squeezed his already closed eyes more tightly and remembered the mantra he fortunately hadn't needed to use since high school to calm himself down.

_Yoda!_

_Joan Rivers!_

He felt Kate shifting against him, her hands then trailing down his chest to his pants, drifting just below his belt. He was going to have to pull out all the stops tonight.

_Richard Simmons! _

Nothing.

Castle finally grabbed her hands between his, and stepped back a bit.

"Christ, Kate! You're torturing me…" he panted, his breath escaping in large white plumes in the chilly night air.

"Well, _you_ started this with your little Dracula imitation," she said tauntingly, biting her lower lip and regaining her composure more quickly than he did.

Castle shook his head at her in wonder. He had always been attracted to her, but somehow that attraction had transformed into a pure magnetism that he had never experienced with any other woman. And all they had done so far was kiss! Of course he meant what he told her. This draw to her was much more than simply physical; he was fascinated by her intellect, how she mentally dissected a suspect's character and motivations, much like he did when creating a person in his book. Castle had spent his professional life wrapped up in the minds of the fictional characters that he created, and up to this point it had been a mostly autonomous affair. Of course he had loosely based other characters on real people prior to Nikki and Kate. However, in order to create the character of Heat, he had internalized _her_, his muse, in a way that made him indeed feel like she was a part of him. Her voice and mannerisms, her intensity and focus, all were engrained into his psyche and it made the physical aspect of tonight all the more heightened and powerful.

Castle caught sight of the limo pulling up to the curb and held Kate's hand as he led her down the stairs.

"What's the matter, Castle? Can't handle the heat?" Kate said arching her eye brow as they reached the limo, settling into the warmth of its interior.

Castle wrapped his arm around her shoulder in an answer to her challenge. She snuggled in, resting her head on his shoulder. She felt his voice vibrate against the side of her face as he spoke.

"Please! I invented _Heat, _remember?" Castle said idly strumming his fingers on her hand which she held in her lap.

Kate smiled and closed her eyes, content in the moment. She had waited for the anxiety and fear that she had always believed would be prerequisites for any type of intimacy with Castle to arrive tonight. While she had felt some moments of doubt, they were overshadowed by the surprising satisfaction she felt from exposing herself as she had. She had kept her heart under tight reign ever since she could remember, even before her mother had died, and especially after Will had left her. Kate thought that she had been in love with him, but now she knew that what she had with Will was a mere blip on the radar compared to how she felt about Richard Castle. It was a huge relief to allow her heart to indulge on what it craved. Her thoughts did wander for a few seconds to how this was going to all play out at work, but her mind snapped back to the dim light of the limo with one touch from him.

Kate trembled a bit as she felt Castle's hand release hers and slide down her leg, exposed by the slit of the dress. He grazed the skin just above her knee with his fingers, sliding the fabric of the dress up ever so cautiously as his fingers hooked to rest between her legs, caressing her inner thigh. He stopped as he felt the strap of the small gun holster that encircled her leg, blocking his hand's progress.

"Richard. Alexander. Rodgers. You did _not _just try to feel me up in the back of a limo," Kate said in her best disapproving voice, but inside she was amused.

"Now I see why you wear a gun _there_," he said with a pouty voice, sliding his hand back down towards her knee. "And since when do you get to call me by my _real_ name?"

"What's wrong? You don't like your real name?" Kate said sitting up as the limo approached Castle's building.

"Well, it's okay I guess. It's just that my mother is the only one that ever called me that, and only when I was a kid and had done something really, really bad. I suppose it's just kinda weird hearing _you_ say it," Castle said shrugging his shoulders as he took her hand and helped her out of the limo.

"Well, I'm glad you told me. I'll keep it in mind for later," Kate said as they entered the building and got on the elevator.

"Later?" Castle said as he pushed the button to his floor, and turned back to face her.

Kate lowered her head a bit, and looked back up at Castle with veiled eyes.

"Yea, you know, as in _later_ tonight," Kate said her voice dropping slightly as she took a confident step closer.

Castle gulped. He stood frozen, mesmerized by her mouth as her tongue darted out, moistening her lower lip.

_Let's see how he takes this._

Her voice sank to a husky whisper.

"I fully expect you will be _very_ _naughty_ tonight and now I know which name to call you. Still…" She reached up pretending to fix his tie as she continued,"…I may just end up screaming _Castle_."

The elevator dinged its arrival and Kate gave a pat to his chest, and then sauntered off the elevator towards his apartment. Castle stood in the elevator dumbfounded and almost blushing.

_Oooh. _

_She wants to scream? I'll make her scream. _

Kate laughed to herself, hearing Castle's footsteps rushing up behind her as she neared the door. She realized she'd have about 2.5 seconds once they were inside before all hell broke loose. And she was more than fine with that.

**A/N: Now, before everyone starts throwing things at me for another cliffhanger, the next chapter is almost done (as in just editing it a bit) and should be up later tonight barring any technical difficulties. And yes, it is very M rated. In fact, I'm envisioning several chapters of smut to come, so hang in there people (if smut is your thing). Hoped that the humor in this chapter was okay (Richard Simmons- lol!)**

**And thanks again to everyone who has kept reading despite my slow updates. I REALLY REALLY appreciate your reviews! Until later...**


	8. Chapter 8

**Warning- this is M, people.**

Castle approached the door with his keys in hand. Kate leaned her back against the wall next to the door. He unlocked it, holding the door open as she entered the loft. She continued into the living area and heard the lock on the door click in the otherwise silent room. She turned to see Castle still standing just inside the doorway, watching her intently.

"Are we alone?" Kate said shrugging her shoulders out of her coat, turning her back to him in order to drape it over the back of the couch. How he closed the distance so quickly and silently Kate would never know, but her hand had barely released her coat when he was upon her, his hands pressing her arms to her sides gently, but firmly.

"Yes," he answered simply, standing behind her.

His mouth kissed her shoulder near the base of her neck as one hand slid to her side, finding the zipper to her dress and lowering it slowly. The same hand quickly wrapped around her waist, under the fabric of the dress, finding her taut stomach muscles. He felt her breath suck in as his hand glided downward, trailing one finger under the waist of her underwear for a brief second. Her body quivered, already aching to feel his fingers dance further south. Castle felt her anticipation and his hand cruelly retraced its journey, then gently slid the dress down past her hips where it finally fell to the ground.

He circled around to face her, standing several feet away, taking off his jacket and tossing it aside. He loosened his tie as his eyes focused on her face, her cheeks already a soft pink revealing the earliest hint of her desire. She stepped out of the ring of fabric at her ankles that had been her dress, her heels clicking on the floor as she walked toward him. She stopped a foot or so in front of him, her skin tingling for his touch. He took a moment to absorb the image of her barely clothed body. With the nude color of her undergarments, she almost looked naked in the low light of the kitchen that outlined her body from behind. Naked, except for the small gun still strapped to her thigh. He smiled as a thought popped in his head.

_Damn this would make a good cover for the next _Nikki Heat.

"You wanna… help me with this?" she said smiling, raising her eyebrows and motioning to the gun.

Castle dropped to one knee, loosening the holster and sliding it slowly over her perfect calf, lifting her foot as he slipped it off, at the same time removing her heel. Kate placed her bare foot back on the ground, bending her other knee back in order to slip off the second shoe. His hand traced the curve of her leg as he stood, now almost towering above her. She quickly felt one arm around her waist while another scooped her legs off the ground so she was cradled in his arms. Her hands naturally found their way to his neck and she pulled him in for an agonizingly slow kiss. Her lips parted and his tongue caressed hers as he made his way to the bedroom. Kate could feel herself becoming wet with desire as his lips left her mouth and sucked on her pulse point as they entered the bedroom.

He lowered her to the edge of the bed so she was facing him, still standing in front of her. Her hands went to his waist, but he quickly halted them, instead helping to recline her torso as he eased his body over hers. He kissed her soundly, tasting a hint of the chocolate covered strawberries from earlier in the night. She felt his hand slide under her back and expertly unclasp her bra. He then slid it off completely and an aroused gasp escaped Kate as he kneaded one breast with his hand. Castle pulled back, hovering over her face, taking a moment to process that he was causing Beckett, _his_ Beckett now his _Kate_ to make _those_ types of animal noises.

"I adore you, you know…" Castle whispered into her ear, brushing his thumb over her already hardened nipple.

"_Rick_, _please_. I… want… to _feel_ you," Kate said breathing hard now, her hands unbuttoning his shirt, pulling it from his waistband and inching her fingers down his abdomen.

Castle felt himself hardening instantly at the sound of her voice saying his name with such longing and the sensation of her cool fingers on his flesh.

"Oh, you'll feel me soon enough. But first… I'm going to feel _you_."

His hand inched down her torso, finally resting between her legs, his fingers creating an especially tortuous friction through her underwear. Kate felt her pelvic muscles throbbing in expectation of what was to come.

"First with my fingers…" he continued, sliding her underwear down as he kissed her. Kate lifted her hips automatically as he slipped the underwear down. Her pelvis fell flush with his for a second, feeling the effect that she had on him as his hardness pressed against her through his pants. She deepened her kiss instinctively, inviting his tongue deeper, wanting some part, _any_ part of him inside of her.

Castle felt her wetness with his finger tips, using it as a lubricant as a moistened finger rubbed her sensitive clit until Kate began to see pulses of light behind her closed eyes. She whimpered, her hips rocking against his hand.

"Now with my mouth," Castle shifted, moving down her body, teasing her breast with his tongue, trailing his mouth with open kisses down her stomach, stopping as he reached the end of the bed. He slid his body down, so he was kneeling on the floor. He threw his shirt off before bringing her legs up over his shoulders, his head nestled between them. He moved his hands down her thighs to rest at her hips. Glancing up at her, he was surprised to see that she was watching him.

She rested the weight of her upper body on her elbows, her now tousled hair half covering her face. He winked at her just before lowering his mouth to her most sensitive spot. Her head immediately flipped back in ecstasy and he felt her hand grip his hair. His tongue moved to its own rhythm, plunging inside her, his throat rumbling with delight at the exquisite taste that was _her. _Kate's hand tightened on his scalp with the transmitted vibrations that seemed to reverberate all the way up to her head, most intensely behind her eyes. He felt her hips move, but used his hands to lock her in place, forcing her to experience every subtle movement of his lips and tongue against her.

"Holy, god! Rick!" Kate gasped, her eyes fluttering as the warmth of his mouth now seemed to shoot down her legs into her toes. She felt like her body was under his rule, and she was not about to ask for mercy.

Castle hummed against her at the sound of his name escaping her lips, but he wasn't finished.

He lifted his head, scooting her hips back up the bed with his hands.

"What are you…?" Kate could hardly get the words out before he somehow lifted her and moved so he was now lying under her. She now straddled his upper chest, her knees just above his shoulders. He gripped her hips and pulled her hot center to his mouth with such force that Kate hardly knew what hit her.

"_CASTLE_!" Kate screamed this time as she felt his tongue go deeper than she thought was possible. His eyes twinkled with satisfaction as he looked up, watching her lips part and feeling her insides shudder against his mouth in a second wave of pleasure.

She breathed heavily as he gave her one last kiss below before he shifted her weight and flipped her so she laid under him again.

He smiled, relishing at the panting figure that he had created beneath him.

"Round one to me," he said softly kissing her now slightly salty neck.

Kate felt her breath slowing, but her body was still pulsating from her back to back orgasms. She trailed her fingers down his back as he continued to assault her neck with his lips. She knew that it was going to have marks for sure tomorrow, but she didn't care.

Castle pressed his hips into her and Kate felt him still hard beneath his clothes. She moved her hands to Castle's cheeks pulling him away from her neck so she could look him in the eye.

She arched her eyebrow and purred, "You ready for round two?"

**A/N: Okay, so this is my first attempt at smut, so I am asking for some feedback por favor. It was really hard to write! I've got ideas for the next chapter, which of course is going to have Castle (and probably Kate) screaming. So if you could just drop a line saying "yay" or "nay" to how I'm doing so far... Thanks!**

**P.S. Did y'all SEE those new spoilers? Holy CRAP it needs to be January!**


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: Still very M rated.**

Kate pulled his head down capturing his mouth with hers. Castle relaxed into her, resting more of his weight on top of her naked body which writhed beneath him. His skin warmed at the feeling of her soft breasts against his bare chest. Kate sucked hungrily at his lips which were bathed in her own scent. As she explored his mouth with her tongue, the mix of his taste with hers caused her mind to fog over and her pelvic muscles involuntarily tightened as she saw flashes of his mouth on her.

She pushed his shoulders upwards, using her hands to guide him onto his side and then his back, never breaking her kiss. She finally released his lips to sit atop his lower abdomen, his hands skimming her stomach and finding her breasts still hard from the earlier exhilaration. She laid her hands over his, willing him to feel her. Raising herself slightly on her knees, she shifted down his body until she was just below his waist. He moved to sit up, yearning to taste her mouth again. Kate, however, pushed his torso down with one hand squarely in the center of his chest and cocked her head, giving him a look that he knew all too well that meant "no arguing". He reclined slowly, amazed at the power she conveyed with one look.

Kate moved her hands to unbutton his slacks, sliding the zipper down quickly, partially releasing the pressure on his aching erection. Castle jerked at the feeling of her hands as she slid his pants down slowly, revealing dark purple silk boxers, peeling his socks off as she reached the bottom. She crawled back over him on hands and knees with surprising agility. Her soft tresses showered down on his chest as she lowered her mouth to his stomach causing his erection to twitch and his jaw to clench.

"Tell me…" she began as her mouth sailed lower on his belly.

"…what you want," her teeth grabbing the elastic waist of his boxers as her hands simultaneously lifted the sides over the rigid pole tenting the soft fabric.

"Christ, Kate. I want… you …ahh," he almost choked on his own voice at the feeling of her lips and then her tongue lightly caressing his tip and then taking him partially into her mouth as her hand gripped his lower half. She swung her hair back with her other hand so she could see his face as she continued. He ran his fingers up across his forehead and through his hair, the other hand gripping the midnight blue comforter beside him. It was as if every nerve fiber in his body was concentrated on feeling her warm mouth on him. The sensation verged on painful, yet was somehow wonderful at the same time. As she continued, Kate almost felt sorry for him, knowing he probably was not going to last long at this rate. She pulled her head up, sucking steadily, releasing him with a soft pop.

He groaned loudly, but somehow did not release.

"Castle…" her breath hot on his groin, her hand milking him gently. She knew he was in no state to talk, but she couldn't help from torturing him just a little. Her tongue traced its way down his shaft and quickly back up.

"Just so you know, I'm on the pill. And…" she kissed his stomach as she started back up his body, her hand still gripping him.

"I… "

"want…"

"you…"

"in…"

"me…" she whispered between kisses, arriving at his neck, her body now stretched on top of him.

He couldn't take anymore of this. He was desperate to be inside of her, but the few neurons in his brain that were still able to form coherent thoughts wanted to savor every moment leading up to their first time as one. His pulsing groin did not leave much time for thinking however, and fortunately, neither did Kate.

"_Now_," Kate said, demanding and declaring it in the same breath.

She simultaneously righted her body above him, using her hand to guide him inside her tight center with complete control. She paused only briefly, allowing herself to fully appreciate the sensation as he glided past her sweet spot. Kate breathed deeply, relaxing in order to accommodate his length. Castle's hands found her hips instinctively as he rocked into her. She was tight, warm, and very wet which made Castle's throat tighten so that he could hardly breathe.

"God. _Kate_. How…can …you feel ...so… _good_?" Castle gasped out as Kate twisted her hips, grinding him further inside her.

Satisfied that he could go no deeper, she raised herself slowly, until he almost escaped her and then sank quickly, repeating the movement a second time as she felt Castle's hands move from her hips to her toned abs, finally gripping her waist. He opened his eyes briefly and was immediately entranced by her figure in the faint light coming from the window. Her body felt like it was made for sex, moving swiftly yet gracefully above him. She trembled a bit, feeling the familiar icy heat that made its journey towards her palms and soles. Right on cue, Castle's wicked mouth somehow found her breast as he sat up unexpectedly, wrapping his hands to her back and lowering her to the bed, maintaining their union.

"Castle…" Kate whimpered a weak protest. She wondered at how he seemed to still be in such control.

"Shh..." Castle lulled her with a soft kiss and his hips pressing her body with one firm thrust against the bed. Kate arched in response, feeling herself unravel, even as he continued to sway against her. Kate rode her lustful high, wrapping her legs around his lower back, matching his pace. She clenched herself against him once, twice, three times, feeling Castle's body _finally_ break rhythm in response. He moved his face over hers, finding her open eyes with his and felt himself falling into their depths with one last shudder of his body. He made no sound except for his shallow breaths as his head collapsed against her neck.

Kate lay nearly motionless for a minute or so, unwilling to break the perfect stillness. She finally blew softly against his neck, then kissed him there gently. Kate smiled at the full weight of him on top of her. He was completely relaxed, his breathing the only thing that told her he was still alive. She wrapped her arms around his shoulders, allowing her hands to drift down his upper back, feeling the slick layer of sweat that had formed. She felt him shifting a little on top of her, finally raising his head to gaze upon her.

"Round two to me?" Kate asked with a grin, amused at how some of his hair was sticking straight up from his head and knowing that hers probably didn't look much better after their escapades.

Castle swallowed hard, trying to find his voice. He soon realized he had no words, instead kissing her firmly on her mouth as his answer. He pulled back to look at her again, shaking his head in wonder and then kissing her again. He started to pull his body away from her, but Kate pinned him in place with her arms around his neck and her legs along his waist.

"No. Stay," she said with a hint of pleading.

He smiled at her, resting some of his weight on his elbows, dusting her face and throat with kisses. He finally found his voice somewhere during the mêlée in progress on her neck.

"_You_…that…_god…_so…_perfect_," he said now sucking gently on her delicate skin.

"Castle, I'm going to have bruises if you keep kissing me there," Kate said, smile in her voice, enjoying every single moment of his lips against her.

"No you won't. Trust me. I'm _very_ gentle," he said, walking his lips down to her collarbone.

"Rick!" she almost laughed. "That tickles!"

"Sorry. You're delicious. What can I say? I _want _you," he said returning to her glowing face and joining their mouths once again.

Kate felt a small moan escape as his tongue outlined her lips, then brushed past them as he continued into her mouth. His weight shifted as he kissed her, reminding them both that they were still joined.

Kate gasped pulling away to breathe.

"You _want_ me? How can you _want_ me when you're still _inside_ me?"

"I _know_. Crazy, right?" Castle said feeling himself start to become aroused again.

The sensation was not lost on Kate either.

"How can you be…?" Kate said, true astonishment in her voice.

"It's your fault. You're just so damn _sexy_," he said moving against her as he kissed one breast and then the other, withdrawing himself slightly from her tense walls.

Kate's eyes slammed shut as she felt the friction between her thighs once again.

"God... _Rick_, I'm not going to be able to walk tomorrow," Kate breathed raggedly into his ear.

"Don't worry. I intend on keeping you in bed most of the day anyway," Castle reassured, diving into her once more.

**A/N: Can I just say a thousand thanks to everyone's feedback and support! You all are wonderful and it truly did make me want to write this chapter faster and made me feel a bit more confident. I hope this chapter maintains the heat of the last. For those who are wondering, we will get back to a semblence of a plot soon, maybe some fluff to come about their feelings, we'll see. Thanks again!**


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N: Thank you to everyone out there reading! All of your reviews, alerts, favorites truly humble me and fuel me to write! **

**So, this chapter contains some fluffy smut (or smutty fluff?). Anyway, I hope you enjoy...**

She woke to the feeling of a soft breeze on her forehead. For a moment, Kate thought she was still on the small boat that she had been on in her dream, bobbing up and down in the surf as she slept. However, she quickly realized that she was not resting in a boat, but rather atop a very warm, asleep, and naked Richard Castle, and that there was no wind except for his soft breath on her face. Her body rose with each inhalation and she smiled contently. Opening her eyes, she let them adjust to the dark room, dimly illuminated from the lights outside, until the shadows of his face came into focus.

_I can't believe I'm laying on top of Castle. Correction, laying _naked _on top of Castle._

She rested her chin on her hands, piled one on top of the other, and studied his face, marveling at the unpredictability of life and all that had changed between them in less than 12 hours. Of course the last two and a half years had led up to tonight, but to Kate, all that had transpired at the gala was still somewhat unexpected. She closed her eyes, feeling the emotions of the night come down upon her. She knew she should be panicking by now, knew she should succumb to the uncertainty that lurked somewhere in the recesses of her mind, but instead she simply felt happy. And safe.

She watched him as he slept, his features so familiar, yet somehow new as she realized this was the first time she had seen him sleep.

_So many firsts. _

He looked younger and more peaceful than she could ever remember. Resting her cheek on his chest, she inhaled deeply before tilting her head and kissing him there, gently so as to not to wake him. She knew her exhausted body couldn't take anymore just yet. She delicately stretched her legs, the soreness of her lower half bearing witness to just how extraordinary _he_ truly was. She returned her cheek back to his chest, his heartbeat echoing in her ear, angling her neck to watch him again as he slept. The minutes passed as Kate silently wondered what he was dreaming of, secretly hoping it was of her.

"You know, for someone who calls me 'creepy' when I watch you work, you're doing a pretty good job of sleep stalking me right now," Castle's groggy voice said, his eyes still closed.

"How did you know I was awake?" Kate said moving her head off his chest in surprise.

"I could feel and _hear_ your very long and lovely eye lashes against my chest each time you blinked," Castle said opening his eyes, and batting his eyelids at her for emphasis.

Kate shook her head. "You could not _hear_ my eyelashes on your chest, Castle."

"Wanna bet? I have excellent hearing. It's one of my many Spidey-ninja super skills. Don't make me show you my _skills_ again, Detective," he joked, squeezing her bottom teasingly.

With that, Kate rolled off the top of him, pulling the sheet up under her arms.

"You're ridiculous," she said smiling, turning on her side to face him.

"Ridiculously _awesome_ is what I think you meant to say," Castle said, turning towards her, raising his eyebrows and placing his hand around her waist to scoot her closer so their foreheads were practically touching.

"Good morning," Castle said in a hushed tone, brushing his lips to hers.

"Is it morning? What time is it?" Kate asked snuggling her body closer, suddenly feeling cold under the thin sheet.

Castle glanced over her shoulder at the nightstand where the clock glowed 3:52.

"Almost 4. So we were asleep about two and a half hours," Castle said running his finger tips up and down her back, feeling her shiver with his touch.

"Two and a half hours! That's it? No wonder I'm so exhausted. Well that, and _you_," she said planting a kiss solidly on his mouth.

"_Me_? Are you _kidding_? Um, let's not forget that _someone_ was trying to take it to round 3.5 at about 1:15. Thankfully, I was able to talk you down, otherwise we wouldn't have slept at all!" Castle said authoritatively.

"Touché, Mr. Castle. Touché," Kate said shaking her head at his all too true accusation and gazing into his eyes which somehow still sparkled in the low light. In that instant, she felt it: her chest swelling, her stomach somersaulting, her heart lurching with a pang that Kate had rarely experienced before tonight.

_I love you._

"Rick…" Kate started, but then looked away suddenly, desperately wanting to actually say the words in her head aloud, but holding back because that was who she had been for so long, and it was so terribly hard to break away from that part of her.

"I love you," he said, finishing her thoughts like he had so many times before.

She looked back into his eyes. She opened her mouth to attempt to return the sentiment, but Castle continued.

"Do you know the first time I knew that I was falling for you?" Castle continued as he pulled her flush with him, his mouth talking into her hair.

"No," Kate said, her breath hitching at the unbelievable warmth of his body against hers. She would never get used to this.

He paused, wondering if what he was about to say would upset her, but he didn't care. He wanted her to know.

"It was when you told me about your mother and showed me her ring," Castle said feeling her pull away slightly to look at him. Her face was hard to read in the darkness, but from the years of studying every nuance of her expressions, he knew she was not upset, just surprised.

Kate shook her head in disbelief.

"But that… that was, _years_ ago. We had only been working together a few months," Kate said her mind thinking back to that day, trying to recall the details of the conversation.

"I know. I hardly knew you then. You definitely made sure of it up until that point. You're very stubborn, you know," chastising her teasingly as he kissed her forehead.

"But when you opened up, just for those few minutes, to tell me about something so important as her and your dad, well, I got a glimpse of something, someone…_you_."

His eyes studied her face, and he thought he detected a bit of glossiness to her eyes that hadn't been there before, but he couldn't be sure in the darkness. "I knew then I was smitten, but I wasn't _in love_ with you. But I knew I would be. Someday."

He felt her breaths coming faster as he clutched her to his body.

"Think about it. How could I _not_ fall in love with someone that possesses your strength and compassion? Someone who has inspired me to write thousands upon thousands of words, yet somehow can render me speechless with one look? Someone like that… _you_ demanded my attention _and_ my affections."

He hugged her tightly. Kate dipped her head, feeling herself blush at his words.

"Not to mention you're utterly beautiful inside and out," Castle finished, lifting her chin with his fingers so she was forced to look at him.

Kate swallowed, struggling to keep her emotions in check. She had never had a man make her cry in front of him, the only exception being her father when she had confronted him about his self-destructive habits after her mother had died. She much preferred to deal with any emotions via a punching bag or drown them in a stiff drink. But these tears were foreign to her. She wasn't angry or sad, she was moved.

"Oh," was all she could muster without having her emotions take complete control of her body. She somehow willed the tears from spilling out.

Castle smiled, knowing she was having a tough time with this. But he pushed her still.

"Your turn now. So, when did you know you _wanted_ me?" he said moving his eyebrows up and down suggestively.

Kate pulled her lips together trying not to smile at his silliness. She looked up, furrowing her brow, pretending to think hard about the answer. Truth was, her side of the story was more complicated, more like a collection of hundreds of moments. Some that made her want him in a purely physical way, much to her initial shock and annoyance. But so many others had cultivated the unlikely connection that had finally matured into friendship and ultimately much more. She looked at him, smiling back at her expectantly. Nope, she wasn't going to tell him about the physical aspects tonight. She'd never hear the end of it.

"Well, I suppose it was around the time of that case we worked at Kyra's wedding," Kate said slowly.

"Ha! I knew it! I _knew _you were jealous of Kyra. Especially when you saw the pictures of when I kissed her," Castle said smugly.

"Actually, no. I was not _jealous_ that you kissed her, I was actually _pissed_ because you didn't listen to me and you were screwing with my investigation," Kate said cocking one eyebrow up at him.

She continued, her tone softer and more serious.

"But maybe… maybe I was a _little bit_ jealous of how you _looked_ at her," Kate said watching her fingers as they traced across his broad chest.

"How I looked at her?" Castle asked.

"Uh-huh. I found myself wishing that you looked at _me_ that way."

Castle's silence demanded that she continue.

"You know, with such emotion and… longing," Kate said her eyes darting back up to meet his briefly.

"You mean, kinda like how I'm looking at _you_ right now," Castle answered, squeezing her hip gently.

Her heart felt like it was beating in her stomach.

"I suppose," Kate said with a hint of a smile, intending to give him a soft kiss, but with the sensation of his lips on hers, instantly deciding she wanted, no_ needed_ more. She deepened the kiss, feeling his hands softly caress her back, igniting the fire in her belly once more.

Kate pulled away, rolling on her back. Her hand rested on her forehead as she breathed heavily, staring at the ceiling. She took a deep breath and continued, finding that the words came more easily for some reason.

"And, when you were there for me through the whole Coonan debacle… I knew I could count on you then. Knew I could trust you as my partner. I didn't want to admit that I needed anyone before then. That I _wanted_ anyone before then. And I hoped maybe you saw me as more than just a work partner, that maybe, one day, you'd feel some of what you felt for Kyra, well, for _me_…"

Castle snaked his arm over her waist, pulling her closer as she turned on her side facing away from him. He spooned her, his chin finding her shoulder as he talked into her ear.

"You know what? I take it back. I don't look at you like I looked at Kyra. I don't look at you like I've ever looked at any other woman for that matter. You know why? Because I've never had these feelings for anyone before, Kate. Not _ever_," he said with an urgent and almost desperate tone.

He pressed his lips to her bare shoulder and she turned her head back to kiss him, hesitating a moment before she finally whispered, "I love you," just before his lips silenced her.

Castle murmured between now heated kisses that he planted almost feverishly on her lips and neck, "Say it again."

She turned herself over to face him, still melding her lips to his. He pulled her body forcefully against him, both tingling with new desire. Kate's head was spinning as she felt her body wanting to melt into him. She pulled herself back from him momentarily, feeling more confident and wanting to relish the moment.

"I _love _you," Kate repeated, kissing him delicately now, her lips controlling the pace.

"Gentle," Kate whispered, Castle returning a tender kiss in understanding.

His arm travelled down the curve of her lower spine and continued until he reached the back of her thigh, Kate instinctively easing it up towards his waist, opening herself to him. Both shifted towards the other silently, kissing in short bursts, until they found one another and connected with one nudge of his hips. He moved slowly now, almost drifting into her.

Kate felt every centimeter of him as he moved, generating a thick, deep heat that spread slowly, like the warmth of hot chocolate on a wintry day, comforting her from the inside out. Castle felt her hand gripping his shoulder, then his neck, pulling her torso against him as he continued his deliberate swaying of his body into hers. Her mouth sought out his neck, then his ear, needing something to sustain her.

"Rick…" she exhaled into his ear.

He loved this slow pace, agony clashing with ecstasy for the same moment. He deepened his journey, Kate's body willing and forgiving of the pleasant torture. She felt her climax unfolding, causing her hips to twist unexpectedly, creating just enough friction that Castle suddenly pulled in his breath, exhaling in a stacked pant of release.

Her body quivered with aftershocks as he slowly withdrew, still holding her impossibly close.

"One more time…" he whispered, nuzzling her neck with his nose.

"Rick, for god's sake! We need to sleep…" Kate said, shocked that he was suggesting another go round.

"No, no. That's not what I was talking about, my little 'sex kitten'. I meant, _say it_ one more time…" he said murmuring into her neck.

Kate grabbed his chin firmly from her neck and gave him a pointed look.

"Castle, call me your 'sex kitten' again, and you will not be 'getting any' for awhile, _capisci_?" she said, her voice slipping into a perfect Italian accent.

"Got it," Castle said a slight crack to his voice, but loving her authority and use of a romance language in bed.

_She is so freaking hot._

"Oh and Castle, one more thing…" Kate said still holding his chin in her hand.

"Yeah?" he asked almost nervously.

Kate pressed her lips to his mouth decisively.

"I love you."

**A/N: For some reason, I almost feel like I should end it here, although I didn't intend to when I started this chapter... I was going to go into the ride along (remember from way back when at the gala?) and how things go at the precinct, etc., but maybe this is it for this story... don't know yet... thoughts? **

**Anyways, thanks to everyone again! -KB**


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